For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
