Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
