I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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