"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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