I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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