i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
