I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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