I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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