Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
