Don't you send me to vm
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
