Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
