There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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