Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Where is the hickey?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend