Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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(949): View more from California

Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back

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(509): View more from Washington

I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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(720): View more from Colorado

Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night

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(650): View more from California

It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo

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