To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
