i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
