I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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