We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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