Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize