You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
