dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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