what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex