Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
where are you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger