Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.