Cold hands, warm shart.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?