Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.

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  (816): About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money. http://tfl.nu/foav
  Replies (15) Good night (4812) Bad night (616)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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  (901): I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort. http://tfl.nu/dcm6
  Replies (11) Good night (3240) Bad night (546)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.

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  (314): Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest. http://tfl.nu/8ll2
  Replies (5) Good night (1114) Bad night (2951)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us

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  (225): True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us http://tfl.nu/tf5l
  Replies (4) Good night (3399) Bad night (1179)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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  (850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6
  Replies (14) Good night (5237) Bad night (883)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.

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  (225): I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one. http://tfl.nu/gflz
  Replies (11) Good night (4871) Bad night (1070)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.

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  (507): I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk. http://tfl.nu/xqiq
  Replies (11) Good night (3248) Bad night (684)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.

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  (317): The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth. http://tfl.nu/e18q
  Replies (6) Good night (862) Bad night (2838)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.

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  (757): We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out. http://tfl.nu/e9z5
  Replies (4) Good night (1129) Bad night (3567)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.

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  (315): He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any. http://tfl.nu/g0ay
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (2224)
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  (760): View more from California

  You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker

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  (760): You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker http://tfl.nu/zuvx
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (296)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.

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  (832): We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad. http://tfl.nu/9s88
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (363)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.

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  (214): I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this. http://tfl.nu/v16y
  Replies (0) Good night (482) Bad night (279)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk
  Replies (4) Good night (713) Bad night (257)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater

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  (952): College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater http://tfl.nu/orlm
  Replies (3) Good night (492) Bad night (224)

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