even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!