Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.