rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
