dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
