I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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