Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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