You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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