Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
