therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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