Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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