If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He passed out mid-signature
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
