I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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