summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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