I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
