he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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