Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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