So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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