i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
