i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
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I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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