He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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