Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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