Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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