pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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