Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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