A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
