Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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