love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
