Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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