Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize