That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How external is "for external use only"?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
