Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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