I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
