Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
