He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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