Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize