just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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