He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
