she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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