youre lurking in front of me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You are the jesus of drinking
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
