Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
