yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
