Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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