too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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