I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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