your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
