No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
