He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
