U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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