Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
